Lullaby

I lost another baby.

I was only 5 weeks pregnant and I just found out saturday but I am seriously heartbroken. After all our struggles to become parents I was so excited to have gotten pregnant so quickly without help. I'm so sad. I know it will get easier and this feeling will pass but I am just truly so sad.

When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. I made plans for a healthy pregnancy. 

*Whole food vegan vitamins

*Pregnancy workouts and walking daily

*Whole food plant based meals

*Yoga

*Meditation

*Giving up soda

Now that the baby is gone I want to give in to my depression and sleep and eat my life away. But I won't. I won't because my kids need me and my husband needs me. Instead, I gave up pop. I started eating healthy again. And as soon as these cramps and bleeding stop I will be doing daily walks with my husband and kids and working out every day. This baby was my motivation to change things for the better, so I will. I just wish he or she could be here too. Sometimes I think I am cursed, but then I look at my beautiful children and my amazing husband and I realize how truly blessed I am. 

So, with that said. I realize I haven't stuck to blogging nor have I updated this blog in over a year. I plan to do better. I plan to use this as an outlet for my emotions and my lifestyle. 

**A few updates**

I have officially been fully vegan for 6 months on July 1st

I have successfully potty trained 3 out of my 4 small kiddos and I am working with my 2 year old

I have quit drinking pop again(but only 6 days ago)

and I do my best to limit my waste. I need to do much better on this! 

In my next blog I will post some before photos. My husband and I plan to do this together, although he is FAR thinner than I am. I have goals to reach and trauma to overcome. Wish my luck. 

All my love and good vibes, 

J

Our Water Baby